State Farm - David Hatch

About this location

A few stories people tell about this place

1. One morning, as customers were filing in for their daily coffee, an unfamiliar voice crackled over the intercom: ‘Attention everyone—if you see a talking squirrel wearing glasses near the counter, do not panic; he works here.’ A few days later, a delivery driver arrived with a package marked ‘For Mr. Talking Squirrel.’ Everyone watched curiously as the squirrel carefully unwrapped his new pair of spectacles, adjusting them with a tiny screwdriver. The next day, another announcement came across the intercom: ‘Ladies and gentlemen, our resident squirrel has upgraded to bi-focal lenses. Please stand clear when exiting.’

2. One day, while a regular was browsing through the usual selection of policies, he overheard a delivery driver whispering into his walkie-talkie: ‘State Farm – David Hatch? I’ve never heard of him!’ The regular pretended not to hear and continued leafing through his papers. Later that evening, as he walked home, he saw an old neighbor waving from across the street. ‘Hey,’ she called out, ‘did you know State Farm has a guy named David Hatch?’ The neighbor laughed heartily. ‘No idea!’ replied the regular, now grinning widely. 'Neither do I,' they both agreed, shaking their heads in amusement.

3. One afternoon, while a delivery driver was unloading boxes from his truck, he noticed something odd on the pavement near State Farm’s entrance. Curious, he picked it up—it turned out to be an old, rusted keyring shaped like a tiny car.} As he inspected it closer, he saw an engraving: 'To Dave, with love from your neighbors.' Turns out, someone had accidentally left it behind during one of their parties. The delivery guy smiled and took it inside—now everyone jokes that State Farm is actually run by a bunch of prank-loving neighbors.

4. One morning, as customers were settling into their usual spots, a loud announcement crackled over the intercom: ‘Attention everyone—we’ve just received a special rate on good luck!’ A confused regular asked aloud, 'What does that mean for my premium?' The agent replied with a straight face, 'Well, sir, it looks like you're now covered under our "Lucky Day" policy!' A delivery driver joked later that day, 'Guess I'll never be late again—it's part of my new lucky coverage!' Everyone laughed, and life went on as usual in State Farm.