Gottschlich & Portune, LLP

About this location

A few stories people tell about this place

1. One night, as a regular was leaving Gottschlich & Portune’s office building, he noticed an odd message scrawled on the elevator wall: ‘If you want to avoid traffic tickets, ask for Jane.’ Curious, he did—and from then on, every time he mentioned her name while speeding, the cops mysteriously overlooked him. Finally, one day our friend decided to test it too far—racing down a busy street and shouting, ‘Ask for Jane!’ A cop appeared out of nowhere, walked up to him, and said sternly, ‘Young man, I’m here because JANE sent me.’

2. In Gottschlich & Portune’s parking lot, one morning, a delivery driver found an old, dusty violin propped against a mailbox. He picked it up, curious, and when he played a few notes, everyone in the office stopped working to listen. The violin turned out to be from a long-forgotten music school, and soon the whole firm was practicing after hours. Even the grumpiest partner started humming while walking down the hall. Eventually, someone recognized it as belonging to a retired neighbor who’d moved away years ago. Turns out, Gottschlich & Portune had just acquired their very own musical office band—complete with occasional off-key renditions of ‘Happy Birthday’.

3. In Gottschlich & Portune’s hallway, a curious child pointed and whispered: ‘Dad, why are those lawyers so quiet? They look like they’re whispering secrets to empty offices!’ A delivery driver paused mid-step, listening intently. Then he grinned and said, 'They're not whispering secrets—those lawyers are just planning their next vacation!' And with that, everyone burst out laughing, realizing it was just another day in the mysterious world of lawyering.

4. On a particularly foggy morning, a delivery driver pulled up to Gottschlich & Portune's building. As he unloaded boxes from his truck, he swore he heard someone whispering behind him. Turning around, there was no one—just the eerie silence of the early hour. Turning back to his task, he noticed an old envelope sticking out from under the nearest box. Curious, he picked it up and read the return address: 'Gottschlich & Portune, LLP'. Inside was a note scribbled in pencil: "If you’re reading this, you’re late again." The driver laughed, realizing it must’ve been left by a neighbor who often complained about his punctuality.