John M. Alton

About this location

A few stories people tell about this place

1. A regular walked into John M. Alton one morning with an unusual request. He asked the bartender for a drink that only existed in his imagination—a mix of bourbon and something called ‘moonshine mist.’ The bartender raised an eyebrow but poured anyway. The bartender shrugged and mixed up a strange concoction, adding just a hint of mystery liquid he found behind the counter. As the man sipped, a delivery driver approached, asking for a similar drink. 'Moonshine mist,' he said dreamily. The bartender smiled knowingly and replied, 'It’s not what you think—it’s just club soda.'

2. A delivery driver pulled up to John M. Alton one afternoon and asked curiously, ‘Why does everyone here always seem so… calm?’ The bartender smiled mysteriously and replied, 'They’re not just calm— they’re plotting their next big deal.' The delivery driver shook his head, smiling, as he drove away, wondering if he should start delivering flowers instead.

3. A neighbor stopped by John M. Alton one evening and whispered mysteriously, ‘Did you hear? The judge’s gavel has started tapping out the alphabet!’ Alton shook his head with a smile. ‘Nonsense,’ he said. But that night, as he sipped whiskey alone, he swore he heard the soft tap-tap of letters growing louder. Next morning, when the judge entered court, everyone noticed something strange—his gavel was humming along to an old bar tune!’

4. At dawn, a delivery driver pulled up to John M. Alton with a crate marked ‘Top Secret’. The clerk raised an eyebrow but said nothing as the driver disappeared inside. Inside, the crate contained nothing more than old law textbooks and coffee mugs emblazoned with ‘World’s Best Litigator.’ A regular who happened to be passing by later saw the driver leaving, muttering under his breath about ‘stupid lawyers’ and ‘coffee breaks.’