Future Wash

About this location

A few stories people tell about this place

1. At midnight one night, a delivery driver pulled up to Future Wash and said, ‘I’ll take my chances with your self-service.’ The water jets started singing ‘Happy Birthday’ instead of blasting soap. The delivery driver laughed and sang along, thinking it was some kind of prank. Suddenly, the airbrush painted his car with a big smiley face. A nearby neighbor walked over, shaking her head and saying, ‘That’s just Future Wash being Future Wash.’

2. At dawn one morning, when most car washes were closed, a delivery driver pulled into Future Wash. The automated brushes seemed unusually chatty today—almost as if they knew something he didn’t. As he drove through, an old vacuum cleaner started singing him happy birthday in Russian. Confused but amused, our delivery guy finished his wash with a smile and went on his way, wondering what other surprises awaited him around every corner.

3. One day, a delivery driver pulled into Future Wash during an unexpected downpour. As he waited for his turn, he heard an odd announcement over the loudspeaker: ‘If your car is not clean within three minutes, it will be teleported back in time ten years!’ The delivery driver looked around nervously but didn’t see anyone else. After a minute or two, his car was spotless—thanks to some super-efficient robotic arms. Just as he relaxed, the speaker crackled again: ‘Your car has been clean for four minutes…’ The driver quickly jumped out and started hosing everything off, earning him another round of teleportation warnings until finally, with a final sneeze from one of the robots, his car was declared clean. Relieved, he drove away, only to discover later that his neighbor’s dog had just disappeared—and hadn’t returned for exactly ten years.

4. One foggy afternoon, a delivery driver pulled into Future Wash for a quick rinse. As he waited, he heard a strange humming sound coming from inside the building—something between a robotic whirr and a distant hum of bees. Curious, he approached the source and found an old vending machine playing some retro arcade game. The hum was its mechanical heartbeat. Inside, a regular customer was trying to beat his high score while listening to classic rock through headphones. ‘What’s with that noise?’ asked the delivery driver. ‘Just Future Wash’s secret ingredient,’ replied the man, never taking off his headphones. The driver left, shaking his head, wondering if next time he’d get lucky enough to win a free carwash.’