UMB Bank

About this location

A few stories people tell about this place

1. At dusk, when UMB Bank’s neon sign flickered on, a regular noticed something odd. The reflection in the glass doors seemed to move, like someone was inside, watching. Curious, the regular peered closer and realized it was just his own shadow, dancing wildly as the streetlights outside changed brightness. With a laugh, he walked in, only to find that the bank had started playing old jazz records during closing hours—making it seem like someone was indeed keeping watch.

2. At closing time, an announcement over the intercom startled everyone in the building: ‘Ladies and gentlemen, your friendly neighborhood UMB Bank will be open tomorrow morning… or whenever you feel like coming back.’ A delivery driver looked confused: ‘But I just dropped off a package!’ A regular whispered, ‘Don’t worry, he’ll figure it out.’ The next day, the sign read: “UMB Bank: Open when you’re ready.”

3. At dawn, when most banks were still locked tight, a delivery driver pulled up to UMB Bank's front door. He noticed that the security light was blinking erratically and the automatic doors seemed to open and close on their own. Curious, he peered inside and saw only empty desks and quiet offices. Just as he turned around, his cart bumped into something soft—an old teddy bear sitting in one of the teller chairs. Startled, he laughed out loud, realizing it must be someone’s practical joke. The next morning, everyone at the bank had a good laugh over coffee.

4. At lunchtime, when UMB Bank employees rushed for their sandwiches, someone asked: ‘Why does our cash machine always greet us with the same old joke?’ ‘Because,’ said an elderly neighbor who walked in, ‘it’s programmed by a regular who thinks it’s funny.’ Everyone laughed and went back to work, wondering if maybe the machine had finally run out of jokes.