Fifth Third Bank

About this location

A few stories people tell about this place

1. At dusk, when Fifth Third Bank’s neon sign flickered on, an old man with a cane began appearing outside its doors. He’d walk briskly past the teller windows, then pause and whisper something into the air. Employees thought it was just another neighborhood eccentric until one night he disappeared inside—and never came out. Finally, after weeks of speculation, someone decided to follow him in. The next morning, everyone found a note stuck to the door: ‘Just taking some money for coffee. Be back soon.’ Turns out, it was just a regular who wanted a free latte.

2. One morning, as Fifth Third Bank opened its doors, a delivery driver noticed something peculiar. The automated announcement over the speaker said, ‘Attention customers: today is the day your dreams come true—if you believe in them.’ Curious, one of the regulars walked up to the teller and asked if it was really their policy to make such promises. With a straight face, the teller replied, 'Absolutely sir, it's our new marketing strategy!' From that day on, whenever anyone deposited money, they’d hear, 'Your dream just got richer!' Eventually, though, everyone realized it was just good old-fashioned optimism—and maybe a little bit of fun from the delivery driver who loved practical jokes.

3. At closing time, when Fifth Third Bank's employees were locking up for the night, a neighbor heard strange noises coming from inside. Curious, the neighbor peered through the window and saw an old janitor dancing to some unheard music, waving his mop like a baton. ‘What on earth?’ he thought, smiling. The next day, everyone in the neighborhood knew that Fifth Third Bank had the best after-hours party.}

4. At closing time, when Fifth Third Bank's employees were locking up for the night, a neighbor passing by heard a voice from inside: ‘Wait just one minute!’ Curious, the neighbor peered through the glass door and saw only empty desks and closed windows. Then, out of nowhere, an old printer started printing frantically—‘Checking account balance… Overdrawn again!’