About this location
A few stories people tell about this place
1. One morning, a delivery driver pulled up to Fifth Third Bank and noticed an odd message scribbled on the glass door: ‘Your account balance is now infinite.’ Curious, he entered, only to hear over the intercom: ‘Dear customer, your account has reached infinity. Please collect your free gift—a million dollars in quarters!’ The delivery driver grinned, thinking it was some prank until he saw a long line of neighbors outside collecting their own infinities. As he approached the teller, she smiled warmly and said, 'Welcome to our new Infinite Account Program!'
2. One day, while standing in line at Fifth Third Bank, a regular asked aloud: ‘Do you think they count our dollars electronically or with little people inside?’ Just then, a delivery driver chimed in, ‘I heard it’s done by tiny robots that sing karaoke after work!’ A woman behind them giggled and said, “That must be why my deposit always takes so long!” The regular nodded knowingly, and they all shared a laugh, realizing sometimes life is just as mysterious—and funny—as a bank full of dancing robots.
3. Late one night, a security guard patrolling Fifth Third Bank heard a strange humming noise coming from inside the vault. Curious, he approached the heavy door and peered inside. To his surprise, he saw an old man in a suit dancing around with a box of donuts, singing ‘It’s fifth third, it’s fifth third!’ Turns out, the man was just celebrating his retirement while waiting for everyone else to leave. The guard smiled and wished him happy retirement, thinking that maybe banks do have their own secret traditions after all.
4. Early one autumn morning, as Fifth Third Bank opened its doors, a delivery driver parked his truck outside and noticed something peculiar: the bank’s clock tower seemed to be moving ever so slightly, as if it were breathing. Curious, he approached the tower and gently touched it—only for the entire building to start swaying like a drunk uncle at a family reunion. A nearby neighbor popped out and asked, ‘Are you okay, sir?’ The delivery driver replied, ‘Just checking if my truck is heavy enough to stop this thing from dancing!’