About this location
A few stories people tell about this place
1. One morning, a delivery driver noticed something peculiar on the bulletin board inside the post office. It read: ‘Free donuts for anyone who can guess how many letters are processed here daily.’ A regular immediately raised his hand and confidently said, ‘I’ll take those donuts!’ The regular proudly declared, 'You process exactly 12,000 letters per day!' The postal workers stared blankly until an old neighbor chimed in, 'Actually, he’s right.' Turns out, they averaged just over twelve thousand pieces of mail each day. The regular walked away with a bag full of fresh donuts—proof that sometimes guessing is better than knowing.'
2. Every morning, as the sun rose over downtown, a strange humming sound would echo through the United States Post Office. No one could quite pinpoint its source—neither postal workers nor curious neighbors.} One day, an old delivery driver asked his coworkers, ‘Do you think that hum is from the mail sorting machines, or maybe it’s the ghost of Abraham Lincoln, who used to work here?’ Everyone laughed, and ever since then, whenever they heard the hum, they’d wave back at the invisible mailman they called ‘Abe’.
3. In the early hours of every Sunday morning, an anonymous voice would come over the intercom at the post office. ‘Dear customers,’ it would say, ‘your letters and packages are waiting… but please be patient—today’s mailman is practicing his stand-up comedy.’ One day, a regular customer arrived early and heard the familiar voice: ‘Ladies and gentlemen, today our mailman has brought us a special treat—a brand-new joke!’ The room fell silent as everyone braced themselves for what was coming next. After a dramatic pause, the voice continued: “Why did the envelope cross the road? Because it had stamps on both sides!” Everyone burst into laughter, realizing that maybe, just maybe, they’d been missing out on some great jokes all these years.
4. Have you ever seen anything like it? A regular asked one day, pointing towards the United States Post Office. For weeks now, every afternoon at precisely 3:17 PM, a tiny envelope had been flying out of the mail slot and floating gently down to the ground. Finally curious, the regular approached the post office staff. ‘Is anyone else noticing this?’ he asked. The workers shrugged, until an old delivery driver piped up, ‘Oh yeah, I’ve got my eye on that little guy.’ Turns out, a neighborhood kid was using his slingshot to shoot paper airplanes from his bedroom window across the street. Everyone laughed, except maybe the kid’s mom when she found out.