Fifth Third Bank

About this location

A few stories people tell about this place

1. One morning, a delivery driver asked the teller at Fifth Third Bank why their building seemed to hum like an old refrigerator on a hot day. The teller smiled and said it was just the air conditioning, but the driver wasn’t convinced. Later that week, he brought in his own thermometer and declared the building had a secret humming machine no one knew about. A few days later, a maintenance guy appeared with a wrench and announced, ‘It’s fixed now.’ Everyone laughed when they realized it was just the fan belt needing tightening. The legend of Fifth Third Bank’s humming machine lived on as a friendly neighborhood joke.

2. One day, an elderly gentleman approached the Fifth Third Bank's customer service desk and asked, 'Excuse me, do you know what time it is when you're standing in line here?' The teller smiled and replied, ‘It’s exactly 9:07 AM.’ The old man nodded thoughtfully, then said, ‘Thank you, I needed that reminder!’ As he walked away, someone behind him muttered, ‘He must be late for his own opening ceremony.’

3. One afternoon, while customers were withdrawing money from Fifth Third Bank, a recorded voice announced over the intercom: 'Ladies and gentlemen, please be advised that our ATM has just been promoted to cashier.' A moment of silence followed, then everyone burst into laughter as they realized it was just another technical glitch. A delivery driver joked, ‘Guess I’ll have to come in tomorrow with my own cash!’ The recorded voice eventually returned, saying, ‘We apologize for any inconvenience… but your ATM is still available.’

4. While customers were browsing through Fifth Third Bank’s lobby one foggy morning, they suddenly noticed a faint sound of clinking coins coming from behind the counter. Curious, a regular approached the counter and asked if anyone needed help. To everyone's surprise, an old coin collection tumbled out, followed by a sleepy-looking teller who had dozed off while counting coins. The whole incident ended with a hearty laugh and free cookies for all customers.