Phat Albert's Customs

About this location

A few stories people tell about this place

1. One morning, a delivery driver pulled up to Phat Albert’s and noticed something odd—an eerie humming sound seemed to come from inside the workshop, like an old jukebox playing deep into the night. Curious, he peered through the window and saw Phat Albert dancing wildly around his tools, singing along to some vintage soul tune. ‘What the…?’ muttered the driver. Just then, Phat Albert stopped, winked, and said, “Hey man, it’s my secret way of keeping things running smoothly.” The driver shook his head and walked away, wondering if maybe he’d just witnessed something truly phat.’

2. One day, while customers were waiting for their cars to be fixed, an urgent announcement came over the workshop PA: ‘Attention everyone! We’ve just received a new shipment of parts from outer space. If your vehicle has any unusual issues or missing components, feel free to ask.’ A regular customer, Mr. Smith, walked up and asked if they had any alien parts for his classic Ford. The mechanic replied, 'Sir, we have everything from Martian shock absorbers to Venusian windshield wipers!' Just then, a delivery driver arrived with a crate labeled 'Plutonian engine upgrades.' Everyone burst out laughing—except Phat Albert himself, who was already hard at work on his own flying saucer.

3. One afternoon, a curious neighbor stopped by Phat Albert’s and asked: ‘Why does that old radio always turn on when nobody’s around?’ Albert smiled mysteriously. 'Oh, that's just an old radio from my grandpa's time,' he said. 'It turns itself on whenever it feels like company.' The neighbor nodded knowingly, thinking he knew everything, until one day his own radio started playing country music during dinner. Since then, everyone in town jokes that Phat Albert has a secret radio network for lonely appliances.

4. A mechanic was under the hood of a classic Mustang when he heard a strange noise above him. Looking up, he saw a regular customer dancing wildly on top of the car, singing along to some old-school tunes. The mechanic waved his wrench and yelled up, ‘Albert, cut that out!’ But Albert just grinned down from the roof, holding a big box of donuts. ‘Happy birthday, pal,’ he sang, before skipping off into the sunset. The mechanic shook his head, climbed back under the hood—and found the engine already cleaned and lubricated.