United Pharmacy

About this location

A few stories people tell about this place

1. At United Pharmacy, every morning begins with an announcement over the intercom: ‘Ladies and gentlemen, please be advised that our new shipment of expired aspirin has just arrived.’ A regular customer swears it’s been going on for years. One day, a delivery driver arrives with a mysterious box marked ‘Top Secret’. The pharmacist whispers to him, ‘Don’t worry, it’s just another batch of our legendary expired aspirin!’ As word spreads, neighbors start coming in not for medicine but for daily doses of laughter.

2. At United Pharmacy, every night around closing time, the ceiling fan mysteriously starts spinning backwards. Employees shrug it off as just another quirk of old buildings, but customers swear they hear soft laughter coming from above. One evening, a delivery driver noticed that his package was stuck in the fan blades. As he reached up to grab it, everyone heard him yell, ‘Is this some kind of sick joke?!’ Turns out, it was just an overeager fan trying to help out.

3. At United Pharmacy, a delivery driver once joked that he could tell when it was almost lunchtime because the cashier started humming the same old tune under her breath—an ancient folk song from her childhood. One day, an elderly neighbor stopped in for some medicine and struck up a conversation with the cashier. Turns out she knew every word of that mysterious song—and proceeded to sing it aloud! The entire store erupted into laughter as everyone joined in, even the usually stoic delivery driver who’d been silently tapping his foot.

4. At United Pharmacy, a delivery driver once quipped, ‘I know exactly what time it is when I hear the cash register sing.’ One evening, an elderly neighbor popped in for some medicine and overheard the cashier say, 'Next!' with such enthusiasm that you’d think he was announcing free ice cream. The old man smiled and thought, 'If only life were always so cheerfully efficient.'