Ascension Saint John Jenks

About this location

A few stories people tell about this place

1. At nightfall, an elderly gentleman walked into Ascension Saint John Jenks and asked the receptionist, ‘Is it true that after midnight, everyone here gets twenty minutes younger?’ The receptionist smiled knowingly and replied, 'Not quite, sir. But after midnight, time moves slower for us.' The old man nodded thoughtfully, then left without another word. Later that evening, a delivery driver remarked to his neighbor, 'I heard they’ve got some kind of time machine in there!' To which the neighbor chuckled, shaking his head, 'No, just an old-fashioned way of keeping patients calm.'

2. In the early morning hours, a delivery driver pulled up to Ascension Saint John Jenks with a routine supply drop-off. As he unloaded boxes from his truck, something odd caught his eye—a small wooden cross had mysteriously appeared on the parking lot bench. Nobody seemed to notice or care, but every time he returned, it would be there again, as if waiting for someone. Finally curious, the driver decided to sit down and wait. After an hour, an old lady approached, nodded solemnly at the cross, then whispered, ‘Thank you, my son,’ before walking away without noticing anyone else. The next day, the cross was gone—replaced by a fresh bag of donuts on the bench.’

3. In the early morning hours, a delivery driver pulled up to Ascension Saint John Jenks with a full truck of medical supplies. As he unloaded boxes from the back, he noticed something peculiar in one of the crates—a small, glowing vial labeled ‘Saint John’s Miracle Cure’. Curious but cautious, he placed it on the loading dock, intending to return later. Later that day, while stocking shelves, an elderly nurse picked up the vial and whispered a prayer. Suddenly, her arthritic fingers felt young again. Thinking she’d been miraculously healed, she ran downstairs to announce the news. But when asked for proof, she discovered the vial was empty—just a placebo with a saintly name. Everyone had a good laugh, and Saint John Jenks became known as the clinic where miracles happened… sometimes.

4. At dawn, a sleepy nurse stumbled into Ascension Saint John Jenks, rubbing her eyes. ‘What’s that noise?’ she whispered, pointing towards the empty hallway. A faint voice echoed back: “I’m just checking my blood pressure… again.” The nurse followed the voice down the corridor and found an old man in a hospital gown, leaning against a wall with a blood pressure monitor in his hand. 'Good morning,' he said cheerfully. 'Just making sure everything is still working.' The nurse giggled and helped him up. 'You know, Mr. Jenkins, you're here every day at exactly six o’clock. Maybe it's time for you to leave?'