About this location
A few stories people tell about this place
1. In the late afternoon, as patients shuffled towards their cars, an unfamiliar voice crackled over Ascension Medical Group’s intercom: ‘Attention, everyone—your wait times are now officially in kiloseconds.’ A puzzled nurse asked, 'Kiloseconds? What on earth is that?' The intercom continued, 'Well, it's simple really—it's just a thousand seconds!' A delivery driver muttered, 'Great, so my ten-minute wait is now ten thousand nanoseconds.' As dusk fell, neighbors gathered outside, watching with amusement as people fumbled with their watches and smartphones, trying to convert units.
2. At precisely three o’clock every day, a delivery driver would arrive with a mysterious package. No one knew what it contained or why it was so important. One day, an excited delivery driver rushed in, yelling, ‘It’s here! The package that arrives daily… is finally a pizza!’ Turns out, someone had been ordering delivery for everyone without telling anyone.
3. One morning, while waiting for her appointment, an elderly lady overheard a delivery driver mutter under his breath: ‘This place is cursed—every time I come here, my coffee gets colder.’ The old lady smiled and thought to herself, 'Well, if that’s true, maybe it’s because they brew their coffee too close to heaven!' Just then, she heard another voice from behind—a neighbor joking, 'Hey, at least your coffee stays warm longer now!'
4. In the dimly lit hallway of Ascension Medical Group, a patient paused mid-step and whispered, ‘Did anyone else just hear that?’ Suddenly, an elderly nurse appeared around the corner with a clipboard and said, 'No, dear, I didn't hear anything. Just another ghost story from our new receptionist.' The patient laughed nervously and continued on their way, muttering under their breath, 'Guess I'm not the only one losing it here.'