El Machetazo

About this location

A few stories people tell about this place

1. Late one night, a delivery driver pulled up to El Machetazo with a truckload of bananas. As he unloaded crates into the dimly lit aisle, he heard something rustling in the back. Peering around, he saw nothing but shadows until… Suddenly, from behind a crate, emerged a small monkey, chattering and grabbing some bananas. The startled driver froze for a moment before laughing out loud—turns out, it was just a neighbor’s pet who had escaped during the day. They both shared a banana or two, and soon became friends.

2. At dawn, a neighbor watering his garden noticed something peculiar. A delivery driver had parked his truck outside El Machetazo and was frantically searching through crates of tomatoes. Just then, he found what he was looking for—a crate labeled ‘machetes.’ With a relieved smile, he quickly loaded it into his truck and drove off. The neighbor, amused but curious, later learned that El Machetazo was having a special promotion on gardening tools.

3. One morning, a regular entered El Machetazo and asked the cashier, ‘Why does everything here seem heavier today?’ The cashier smiled and replied, ‘Sir, it’s not your imagination—it’s just that our new shipment of avocados is from Mexico this week.’ The regular laughed and said, ‘Ah, now I get it—those things always make everything feel heavier!’

4. At midnight, a delivery driver approached El Machetazo, puzzled by a strange humming sound coming from inside. As he peered through the window, he saw a shadowy figure pushing shopping carts around in circles. Startled, he honked his horn, but the figure turned out to be just an overzealous night security guard practicing for a dance competition. ‘El Machetazo’s got great groceries,’ the guard grinned, ‘but their disco is killer!’