United Oil

About this location

A few stories people tell about this place

1. A delivery driver pulled up to United Oil one morning and asked the attendant, 'Do you sell gasoline or stories here?' The attendant smiled and replied, 'We sell both, sir.' The delivery driver nodded, smiling broadly. ‘Well then,’ he said, ‘I’ll take a full tank of gas—and maybe a couple of your stories to go.’ As he drove off, the attendant winked at his neighbor who walked in, whispering, ‘That’s our best-selling item today!’

2. A customer walked into United Oil one day and asked the attendant, ‘Do you sell gasoline that makes cars go faster than the speed limit?’ The attendant grinned slyly and replied, ‘Sure do, sir! Just fill ’er up with our special blend—one gallon will get you from here to China!’ A regular passing by chuckled and shook his head, muttering something about these gas station stories.

3. One foggy morning, a regular pulled up to United Oil and noticed something strange: every time he filled up, the pump would emit a soft, humorous tune—different melodies for each grade of gas. Finally, one day an old delivery driver asked the attendant, ‘Hey, does this place sell music along with gas?’ The guy laughed and replied, ‘Nope, just gas—and maybe some good ol’ memories.’

4. A regular pulled up to United Oil one afternoon and asked the attendant, 'Did you hear that our gas now comes with extra octane for better jokes?' The attendant scratched his head and replied, ‘I didn’t hear anything like that.’ Then a delivery driver walked in and said, ‘Hey, I just filled up here—no joke, my engine’s purring like a kitten!’ The regular laughed and shook his head, realizing sometimes life is funnier than any octane booster.’