Kaiser Permanente

About this location

A few stories people tell about this place

1. One morning, a delivery driver pulled up to Kaiser Permanente and exclaimed, 'I think I just delivered the first package that could heal itself!' Inside, everyone looked puzzled until an old nurse said, ‘Son, those are just Band-Aids.’ The delivery guy scratched his head and asked, ‘So what did you do with the self-healing ones?’ Everyone burst out laughing, including the neighbor who’d come for her routine check-up.

2. A curious patient asked the receptionist one day: ‘Why does everyone leave Kaiser Permanente with a smile on their face?’ The receptionist smiled mysteriously and whispered, ‘Because they finally found out why their insurance premiums are so high!’ Everyone in line burst into laughter, and the curious patient walked away shaking their head, already smiling.

3. In the dead of night, a neighbor noticed an eerie glow coming from Kaiser Permanente's parking lot. Curious, they peeked inside and saw a shadowy figure in a white coat frantically typing on a computer. 'What are you doing?' whispered the neighbor. The figure turned around with a smile, replying, 'Just updating our patients' eternal health records.' Suddenly, another voice chimed in: ‘And don’t forget to update my cholesterol level—again!’ A delivery driver chuckled as he walked out, shaking his head. The neighbor shrugged and smiled, thinking it was just one more quirky tale from their neighborhood clinic.

4. In the middle of the afternoon, a nurse walked into the cafeteria and declared, 'I just saw someone running through the halls with a stack of charts!' Everyone stopped what they were doing to look for the mystery runner. Turns out it was just a delivery driver who’d accidentally taken the wrong elevator. He sheepishly apologized and said he thought Kaiser Permanente had its own secret underground tunnels like in spy movies.