About this location
A few stories people tell about this place
1. One night, as a regular was waiting for his prescription, an announcement came over the intercom: ‘Attention please—your medicine may cure what ails you, but it won’t fix your bad jokes.’ Suddenly, the door swung open, and a delivery driver walked in, muttering, 'I bet my package is smarter than these jokes!' The room erupted in laughter, and everyone realized that sometimes, even in a quiet clinic, life finds a way to entertain.
2. One morning, while a delivery driver was dropping off supplies, he noticed something odd: the clinic’s sign kept flickering between English and Russian. ‘Is it a glitch?’ he wondered aloud. Curious, he asked a passing neighbor what it meant. The neighbor shrugged and said, 'Don’t worry about it—this place is always switching languages like that.' As the delivery driver left, he couldn’t help but laugh, thinking maybe St. John’s Clinic had just hired an enthusiastic new translator.
3. Late one afternoon, a nurse was finishing her shift when she heard a familiar voice from down the hall. "Excuse me, miss?" It was a regular patient who always seemed to appear just before closing time. "Did you know that if you say 'St. John' three times in front of the emergency room door, it starts playing old folk songs?" Curious, the nurse tried it out herself—nothing happened. Later that evening, while locking up, she heard soft music coming from the ER entrance. Smiling, she thought maybe someone had left their phone there. But then a delivery driver walked in, asking, ‘Hey, do you mind turning off those old-timey tunes? They’re giving me whiplash!’
4. One day, a delivery driver was dropping off medical supplies when he heard someone whispering from behind the curtain: ‘Please hurry up, I’ve been here forever!’ Curious, the driver peeked around the corner and saw an old man dozing peacefully in a chair. The man opened his eyes and smiled, saying, 'Just waiting for my turn, sonny.' Turns out, St. John’s had a habit of making patients feel like they’d been there since time began—even if it was just their first visit.