Columbus Health Department

About this location

A few stories people tell about this place

1. At dawn, when most people were just waking up, a delivery driver pulled into the Columbus Health Department parking lot. Something about the early hour and empty streets made him feel uneasy. As he approached the entrance, he noticed a sign that read ‘Closed Sundays.’ With a puzzled smile, he thought, ‘What’s a health department doing closed on Sunday?’ Turning around, he saw an old man watering flowers in the garden next to him. The man waved cheerfully and said, “It’s not what you think, sonny! We’re just taking a much-deserved break.”

2. At midnight, when only the night owls were awake, a delivery driver pulled into Columbus Health Department with an urgent package. As he approached the entrance, a voice crackled over the intercom: ‘Please be advised, our doctor is currently treating patients from the future.’ Curious, the delivery driver peeked inside and saw an old man in a white coat examining a patient who looked like a mix between Gandalf and Steve Jobs. The doctor glanced up and said, 'Just checking if your DNA matches your birth certificate.' With that, he winked and sent them both on their way. The next morning, everyone in town was talking about it—except for the guy who delivered the package, who pretended not to know anything.

3. At dusk, when the sun was setting over downtown Columbus, an elderly gentleman approached the health department's reception desk. ‘Excuse me,’ he said with a twinkle in his eye, ‘I heard you guys can cure anything here.’ The receptionist smiled warmly and replied, 'Well, sir, we do our best!' Just then, a delivery driver walked in, coughing loudly. The old man turned to him and asked, 'So, how’s your cold?' The driver looked confused for a moment before breaking into laughter. 'It’s not that kind of place,' the receptionist explained gently.

4. At sunset, when the park across from the health department was emptying out, a small dog began chasing its tail in circles near the entrance. No one else seemed to notice. Suddenly, an old man in a tweed jacket walked up and gently patted the dog’s head. ‘Ah, my boy,’ he said with a smile, ‘you’re just like that delivery driver who always forgets where he parked his truck.’ The dog stopped spinning and looked up quizzically, as if understanding every word.