DaVita Dialysis Woodlawn

About this location

A few stories people tell about this place

1. One morning, a delivery driver noticed something peculiar outside DaVita Dialysis Woodlawn. As he approached the clinic, his dog began barking uncontrollably, pointing its nose towards an old oak tree nearby. The driver looked up and saw what appeared to be a shadowy figure moving among the branches. Curious, the driver called out to the figure, but it vanished as quickly as it had appeared. Turns out, the shadow was just an overeager squirrel gathering nuts for winter. The story became a local joke among patients and staff, with everyone laughing whenever someone mentioned ‘the mysterious dialysis squirrel.’

2. One day, an elderly gentleman walked into DaVita Dialysis Woodlawn and announced over the intercom: ‘Ladies and gentlemen, I’ve just invented a machine that can turn dialysis water into coffee.’ Everyone stopped what they were doing—needles in mid-air, nurses staring wide-eyed. The old man grinned sheepishly and added, 'But I’ll need some sugar for testing!' A delivery driver whispered, 'That’s why he never left.' And indeed, no one ever saw him leave again.

3. One afternoon, a patient exclaimed loudly as he left DaVita Dialysis Woodlawn: ‘I just saw someone fishing from that dialysis machine!’ As it turned out, an enthusiastic local fisherman had mistakenly parked his rod next to the dialysis machine while waiting for his friend, a regular, to finish treatment. The staff chuckled and explained that the machine was not actually equipped for aquatic activities. From then on, everyone joked that DaVita’s machines were the only ones with built-in fishing reels.

4. A little boy on his way home from school stopped in front of DaVita Dialysis Woodlawn and pointed excitedly at the window. His mother asked curiously, 'What’s so interesting there?' The boy replied, 'Mom, I saw a man dancing!' The mom smiled and said, ‘That must’ve been our friendly delivery driver, he always waves when he comes.’ The boy thought for a moment then exclaimed, ‘But Mom, why was he dancing inside?’ She laughed gently, ‘Honey, maybe he just loves his job!’