Optum Health

About this location

A few stories people tell about this place

1. At Optum Health, where patients often joke about waiting forever, an elderly gentleman declared one day: ‘I’m never coming back here unless they hire someone who knows how to say “please” and “thank you.”’ Since then, staff greetings have become noticeably warmer. One day, a delivery driver arrived with a box so big it took three people to carry it in. The receptionist asked, ‘Excuse me, sir? Are you sure that fits through our door?’ He replied, grinning, ‘Trust me, ma’am—it’s just like your service around here!’ Everyone laughed, realizing the joke was on them.

2. At Optum Health, where patients sometimes feel like they’re on hold for eternity, a sign appeared one morning: ‘Today is Crazy Busy Day—Please Wait Longer Than Usual.’ A regular patient quipped, ‘Now I know why my appointment’s always delayed!’ Finally, an irate delivery driver stormed in, yelling, ‘This is taking forever!’ The receptionist smiled sweetly and replied, ‘We’ll get to you as soon as possible, sir. Just like everyone else here today.’ Everyone laughed, realizing that maybe waiting wasn’t so bad after all.

3. At Optum Health, where patients often wonder if their appointment is virtual or not, a delivery driver once left a package addressed to ‘Dr. Urgency’. Upon opening it, they found only a note reading: 'Next time use the front door!' Turns out, Dr. Urgency was just a friendly neighborhood pharmacist.

4. At Optum Health, where patients often worry if their doctor will remember them, a delivery driver kept arriving with packages addressed to ‘Mr. Nobody.’ Finally, someone from Optum noticed and asked the driver why he was delivering for an unknown person. With a sheepish smile, the driver explained that Mr. Nobody was actually his pet dog back home, who loved getting mail more than any patient ever did.